About the book:

Her husband found her by the roadside, delirious and choking on her own vomit. Gemma Morgan was 33, happily married with two young children, an outstanding army service record and a first-class international sporting career. But underneath she was a wreck, surviving on a cocktail of vodka, Valium and sleeping pills.

Misogyny, sexual abuse and toxic masculinity had been the daily realities of her Army career long before being deployed unarmed and unsupported to the blood and mayhem of a war zone.

Motherhood left her lost and alienated, a soldier who had deliberately suppressed her femininity with no idea how to cope.

Together, these experiences triggered a mental health crisis that left her suicidal, battling PTSD, betrayed and abandoned by the institution to which she had devoted seven years of her life.

With the support of her family Gemma has since been on a long, hard and bumpy road to recovery. This is her story in her own words. She has told it to inspire others, especially those who have been affected by the toxic and coercive leadership culture that continues to pervade the British Army.

Reviews:

As featured on Lorraine.

It’s very raw, very honest as well... You on the front of the book it is one soldiers story from trauma and abuse to resilience and leadership and that’s what you’ve done, you have managed to bounce back and I honestly think this will be so helpful. Anyway, it’s a great read, it’s not an easy read but that’s okay because sometimes we do need that, but I do think it will also help so many people. LORRAINE KELLY

This is a fascinating insight into a macho, male-dominated world where reality is so grotesquely distorted from the public perception. Read it, believe it, because sometimes the truth is far more incredible than fiction. TERRY BUTCHER, Captain of the England Football Team

A shocking read. This is a wake-up call. PAULA EDWARDS, CEO, Salute Her UK

Brutal and difficult to stomach. Gemma demonstrates the very best of what it means to serve and protect the freedom of others. MANDY BOSTWICK, Trauma Pyschotherapist

Read this and talk to your loved ones. Perhaps Gemma's greatest service to her country will be in sharing her story. While the horrors of war will always create casualties, is the betrayal by her military leaders that stands out as the deeper wound. LIEUTENANT-COLONEL DIANE ALLEN OBE, RET'D

Gemma inspires with powerful vulnerability. She challenges what is means to be a strong leader and has taught me a great deal about finding resilience even in the toughest of times. GARETH MALONE OBE, TV Presenter & Musician

A former Herefordshire soldier has suffered post-traumatic stress disorder and other mental health problems, speaking out to describe a grim experience in the armed forces where she says "abuse was the norm". BRIDIE ADAMS, Hereford Times

It’s such a remarkable story. SALMA EL-WARDANY, BBC Radio London

Testimonials:

Gemma’s story and her experience of leadership and resilience is inspirational, candid and rousing. Her ability to connect with her audience and provide a forum for open conversation was superb. MELANIE RICHARDS, Vice Chair KPMG LLP

Gemma speaks with powerful vulnerability – you could hear a pin drop. JODIE KIDD, Model, Racing Driver and TV Personality

Gemma's depth of understanding, experience and empathy are a powerful combination for anyone serious about performance improvement. ANDY FLOWER OBE, Former Head Coach, England Cricket

Gemma made a pivotal impact to our record-breaking medal haul at the Rio 2016 Paralympic Games. She models a unique mix of thought-provoking honesty, empathy and robust humility. We are indebted to her wealth of experience and practical insight. GERAINT RICHARDS, Performance Director, GB Wheelchair Tennis

Gemma is an inspiration as a leader, as a colleague and as a person. Professional to the extreme and hugely personable, she is passionate about effectively empowering talented people. She understands the complexities of corporate life and the adaptability required in a fast-paced performance environment. Put these characteristics together and you get a top-notch result. VICTORIA WENTWORTH CEO, Agria UK

Gemma's insights into our 'human condition' and in particular the challenges of leading under extreme pressure have a profound effect on all those involved. GORDON LORD, Head of Professional Coach Development RFU

Gemma establishes instant rapport and credibility which rapidly breaks down barriers, gains a real honest buy-in and ensures everyone gets stuck into the development process. STUART SUTTON, Chief Executive Officer, Infinity SDC Limited

Gemma is compassionate and empathetic. She listens, questions, challenges and advises - calling upon a wealth of knowledge. Experience and wisdom in the fields of high performance and leadership across a range of environments. DAVID PARSONS, Performance Director, England Netball